The Bible is the source of wisdom for parenting. It has tested truths which when applied in our lives can benefit us beyond our wildest expectations. Life is a product of relationships. The better you are at them, the better the quality of your life. The first relationship that we all have is always with parents. Them being the source of our lives implies that our first lessons on Earth come from them.
This being the case, parents, especially fathers owe their children a godly upbringing. The Bible contains admonition to fathers on their role in the lives of their children. But before we delve in the instructions, it is worth noting that every child is a blessing from God. At human level, all we do is decide to have a child then hope that it will be the gender that we desire. However, God holds this right. No man can manipulate it. Since our authority in childbearing has a limiting parameter, it is then wise for us to acknowledge that God holds the ultimate power in deciding the specific details about every child before it’s born. When God hands the child to us from the womb, we become stewards of these gifts called children. As stewards, we are then responsible for knowing what our roles are in the lives of these children.
Let us consider the roles as stated in the Bible:
1. TRAIN (Ephesians 6:4)
The first role of a parent is to train children in the ways of the LORD. This is a coaching role which demands physical presence. Unlike providing which can be done remotely, training requires physical interaction between fathers and children. Training is challenging when a father lacks integrity.
Some parents struggle to train their children because their lives are not shining examples. They know it and don’t wish their children to follow their footsteps. This is usually a consequence from lack of proper parenting, negligence, ill behavioral patterns and unpleasant background which include absentee fathers. As parents, there is need to sanctify ourselves for the sake of our children. One interesting read is that of Jesus, found in John Chapter 17 where he mentioned that he sanctified himself for the sake of his disciples. This should be the attitude that fathers should adopt. Fatherhood is a calling to refraining from negative vices which may corrupt children. Any behavior that may set a bad example should be cut off for the sake of our children.
2. PROVIDE (1 Timothy 5:8)
This is where most fathers are doing well. At least an average father knows that he should be responsible for ensuring that his children have all they need for their sustenance and development. Basic needs such as food, clothes, shelter and education are at the heart of many fathers. Except for a few who for reasons best known to themselves find this to be a struggle.
Fathers are called to not only provide for the daily needs but to also leave an inheritance for their children. King Solomon observed that a good father leaves an inheritance for his children’s children. (Proverbs 13:22)
3. INSTRUCT (Ephesians 6:4)
Fathers are called to play a mentorship role to their children. As a mentor, a father needs to be wise and knowledgeable. He should posses vast knowledge in the major spheres of life development to be able to instruct his children. Whereas training demands physical presence and a hand-in-hand walk with children, instructing is normally done at a distance.
There comes a time when children leave the home to pursue their own ambitions. When this happens, they no longer have frequent physical interaction with their fathers. This is where instructing becomes necessary. Oftentimes, children do not walk the career path of their parents. Therefore, their life experiences become different from that of their fathers to a point that training is impossible. However, a father can use life principles to inspire wisdom in the lives of their children through instructions.
Every parent, especially fathers, must be aware that we owe our children these roles: training, providing and instructing. For some of us who have a calling of being fathers even to non-biological children, let us ensure that we serve diligently with hearts full of God’s love as though they were our blood.
Fatherhood is a noble job which gives pride and fulfillment especially when the three major roles are faithfully executed. There is a reward awaiting every father for being good stewards. Furthermore, let us learn more from our heavenly Father on parenting because he is the first and only perfect example we have.